Wellbeing

We know that this is often a busy time for kids, but as often as you can during the week, eat together. This serves a few purposes:

• You can get them involved in the cooking alongside you - connecting, catching up and where they learn can about food
• You're choosing the ingredients and what goes on the table (and in your kids' mouths!)
• Meals together are also connecting for you as a family, and support your kids to feel part of the family (belonging is especially important for their wellbeing and mental health) and it's where you can all catch up on each others' worlds. 

We're not advocating no processed food,, but the place you can manage it is in your pantry. If your kids especially love 2 minute noodles but you've noticed they're powering through them, maybe just buy a few less packets so they have to search for something else. Make fruit and nuts the go-to's for hunger busting but if they're "starving" you could pre-freeze some mac n cheese (with veggies!), or other heat and eat food so that they have something filling available quickly, but it's a better choice than fully processed.

If your pre-teen grazes snacks from the pantry store, stock your pantry with healthy snacks like nuts, seeds, and fresh fruits. Encourage pre-teens to reach for these options instead of processed snacks when they are hungry. Our go-to's are:

• Rice cakes with avocado, tomato or cottage cheese
• Rice crackers, flatbread or carrot sticks and hummus
• Cheese and crackers
• Pretzels
• Fruit
• Nuts
• Roasted chickpeas (you can do this yourself and store, or they can)
• Popcorn
• Miso soup packets
• Mug cake (google recipes) or muffins
• Scones
• Wholemeal toast 

Sometimes after school is the super hangry time, and it can be really helpful to have the snacks ready-to-go to just to support them over this hump.

The golden rule of thumb in parenting is 'what you pay attention to, you get more of' so instead of lecturing about the amount of junk they're eating just do the subtle things that will make more of a difference:

• model healthy eating habits yourself
• praise them while at meal times for what they've been doing (not food choices) and ensure they enjoy this time with you
• sometimes cute containers and drink bottles will encourage them to eat the contents or drink the water
• talk about food as 'food' not good or bad, right or wrong - take the emphasis and power away from it

They've got a lot going on - they've busy, bombarded with advertising, peer pressure to be seen eating or drinking the 'cool' option. So let's just make better eating easy, and relaxed. 

Agreeing on a time when tech comes out of the bedroom (model good tech practices as a general rule). We say this both because of the stimulation, temptation to stay up gaming or chatting to mates but also because the blue light from the screen can really mess with their sleep patterns, making it hard to nod off.  

Rather than tech, make sure there are actual books to read for them, in bed. This can really support sleep (and learning!). Add in a bedside lamp, to make it cosy.

At this stage our pre-teens' brains are going through a lot of changes, and this can really affect their sleep patterns. For one thing, their body clocks can be all out of whack, making' it tough for them to get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Plus, their brains are working overtime, absorbent like a sponge, learning new things and processing information at a rapid rate. This means they can get pretty worked up about things, whether it's school, friends, or family stuff, which can keep them awake at night.

And then there's hormones, which can cause emotional swings and making it tough for them to relax. It really is like their brains are on overdrive, and they just can't switch off!

So, it's up to us to support them. Encourage good sleep habits, stick to the routines and hear them out when they talk to us about feeling stressed or worried. 

Beyond what we say there's some really great books on our near teens. We love Girl Stuff Kaz Cooke, Brainstorm by Daniel Siegel and The Teenage Brain: A Neuro-Scientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents by Frances E Jensen. Any of these you can pick up at good NZ book stores or Audible.

Praise your kids when they make efforts to sleep well and look after themselves.

Check-in regularly to see how things are going - there might be other stuff keeping them awake. Having trouble sleeping is quite normal when we're stressed or too much sugar or caffeine can really rev them up.